When we think about financial health, we often focus on budgeting apps, investment strategies, or side hustles. But there’s another, less obvious player in your financial game: your relationships. The people you spend your time with—their habits, attitudes, and even their unspoken expectations—can have a profound effect on how you manage your money, how you approach credit, and whether you’re set up to achieve big goals, like buying your first home.
For Gen Z and Millennials, many of whom face financial instability and the lingering effects of student debt, building wealth feels harder than ever. And if you’re in the thick of trying to boost your credit score, stabilize your income, or save for a down payment, it’s crucial to evaluate not just your spreadsheets, but your social circle, too.
Your Financial Habits Reflect Your Environment
Have you ever noticed how spending time with certain people tends to nudge you in a particular direction? Maybe you’ve got a friend who always suggests happy hour or a coworker who constantly talks about their latest splurge. While it’s fine to indulge occasionally, patterns can form. And those patterns, when unchecked, may be holding you back.
Here’s the tough truth: If your inner circle normalizes living paycheck to paycheck, frequent debt accumulation, or “buy now, figure it out later” mentalities, you might be absorbing those habits without realizing it. The average millennial holds over $50,000 in non-mortgage debt, and Gen Z isn’t far behind. Combating that starts with acknowledging where you’ve learned these behaviors—and whether they’re truly serving you.
Ask yourself:
- Who influences your daily financial decisions?
- Are they modeling habits that align with your long-term goals?
- Do you feel supported in making smarter money choices, or do you feel guilt-tripped for saying “no” to unnecessary spending?
Identifying Financial Sabotage
Sabotage doesn’t always come in obvious forms, like someone stealing your credit card. It’s often subtle:
- The guilt trips: A friend who shames you for not joining an expensive trip or outing.
- The toxic comparisons: A relative who constantly brags about their purchases or lifestyle, making you feel “less than.”
- The dismissal of boundaries: Someone who pushes you to spend beyond your means, even when you’ve expressed financial goals.
These behaviors can create unnecessary pressure, leading to overspending, increased debt, and a lack of focus on long-term goals like homeownership. The emotional fallout of these dynamics—feeling undervalued, excluded, or even ashamed—can further derail your financial journey.
Taking Responsibility for Your Financial Growth
While it’s tempting to blame external influences for financial setbacks, ultimately, the responsibility lies with you. This isn’t about assigning fault but reclaiming control.
Here’s how to start:
- Assess Your Relationships: Identify who in your circle actively encourages your financial goals and who undermines them. Pay attention to patterns of pressure, negativity, or financial irresponsibility.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Communicate your goals and explain why certain behaviors (like overspending) no longer fit into your life. For example, “I’m focused on saving for a down payment, so I’m going to skip this weekend’s trip, but let’s plan a budget-friendly activity soon!”
- Find a Supportive Community: Surround yourself with people who are also working toward financial independence or big milestones. Online forums, local meetups, or even coworking spaces can introduce you to peers who understand the grind and the goal.
Relearning Healthy Money Habits
Breaking free from unhealthy patterns often requires learning new ones. This might mean unlearning financial habits you picked up from family, friends, or even partners. Here’s how:
- Track Your Spending Together: If you’re in a relationship, make money conversations part of your routine. Create a shared budget and hold each other accountable.
- Embrace Financial Education: Don’t shy away from online courses, books, or podcasts on money management. Share what you learn with your circle—it might inspire them, too.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Whether it’s paying off a credit card or saving an extra $500, acknowledge milestones. This builds momentum and confidence.
Dealing with Pushback and Sabotage
Not everyone will be thrilled when you start making different choices. You might encounter skepticism, resentment, or outright hostility. Here’s how to handle it:
- Stay Grounded in Your Goals: Remind yourself of the bigger picture—homeownership, financial freedom, stability. Write these goals down where you’ll see them daily.
- Minimize Contact with Negative Influences: This doesn’t mean cutting people out completely (unless necessary), but limiting time with those who consistently undermine your efforts.
- Seek Professional Guidance: If certain dynamics feel particularly toxic, therapy or financial coaching can help you navigate the emotional and logistical challenges.
Your Money, Your Future
Buying your first home is a massive milestone, one that requires careful planning, strong habits, and resilience. But those habits don’t exist in a vacuum—they’re cultivated in the environments we inhabit and the relationships we nurture.
If you’re struggling with unstable income patterns or credit issues, start by taking a hard look at your circle. Are you surrounded by people who lift you up, or are they dragging you into patterns that no longer serve you?
Ultimately, your financial journey is yours to own. By taking responsibility for your habits and addressing the influence of your relationships, you can set yourself up for success—not just in achieving homeownership but in building a sustainable, empowered financial future.
Let’s normalize talking about money, holding each other accountable, and striving for goals bigger than today’s purchases. Because when you have the right people in your corner, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.
A commitment to innovation and sustainability
With tools like the Mortgage Readiness Mobile App, REVVE is bridging the gap between ambition and accessibility, empowering you to navigate the path to homeownership with confidence. As we approach our 2025 launch, we invite you to join us on this journey—because your dream home should be a reality, not just a goal. Stay tuned for updates, and let’s build a financially secure future together.