You know the wonky feeling.

Your to-do list is a bottomless pit. Your calendar is a patchwork of obligations—some yours, most not. Your phone buzzes with a demand, and your brain, already juggling three thoughts, adds a fourth. You say “yes” to a project out of politeness, “maybe” to an event out of guilt, and “I’ll decide later” to a commitment out of sheer avoidance.

Days blur into weeks. You’re busy, perpetually in motion, yet somehow the important things—the truly important things—stay on the back burner. You watch others, the so-called “top performers,” move with a disconcerting clarity. They seem to get the opportunities, the momentum, the results. And you wonder, quietly, what do they know that I don’t?

The answer isn’t necessarily more hustle, more caffeine, or more sophisticated planners. It’s a radical, almost brutishly simple, decision-making filter:

“If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a HELL NO.”

This isn’t a cute mantra for productivity blogs. It’s a lifeline in an ocean of overwhelm. It’s the foundational practice of becoming what I call an Athlete of Your Attention.

Your Attention Is Not a Renewable Resource

We treat our attention like it’s air—infinite and always there. It’s not. It’s more like the muscle of a world-class sprinter: powerful, capable of miraculous feats, but acutely susceptible to fatigue, injury, and waste.

Every ping, every “quick question,” every semi-interesting newsletter, every lukewarm “maybe” task is a micro-tear in that muscle. Do it enough, and you’re left with a strained, weakened capacity—unable to focus when it truly counts, on the things that truly matter.

Top performers understand this at a cellular level. They don’t just manage their attention; they athlete it. They train it, protect it, fuel it, and rest it with the precision of an Olympian. Why? Because they recognize that next to your health and your closest relationships, your attention is your primary tool for building a meaningful life. Everything you create, connect, and contribute flows through it.

The “Hell Yes or Hell No” filter is their first and most important piece of equipment.

Why “Maybe” Is the Most Dangerous Word in Your Vocabulary

“Maybe” feels safe. It feels polite. It keeps options open.
But “maybe” is a silent killer of potential. It’s a psychological placeholder that consumes real estate in your brain. It’s a task that stays on your list, a conversation that stays in your backlog, a decision that perpetually drains your energy as you subconsciously revisit it.

“Maybe” is the realm of mediocre priorities. It’s the seductive trap of the “good enough” opportunity that blinds you to the “great” one. When you live in “maybe,” you whittle down your supreme focus into tiny splinters, spreading them across too many surfaces. Nothing catches fire.

The binary filter—HELL YES or HELL NO—eliminates the gray zone. It forces a conscious, often uncomfortable, choice. It makes you ask the real question: Does this compel me? Does it align so powerfully with my goals, values, or genuine curiosity that I feel a surge of energy at the thought?

If not, the answer is “Hell No.” Not “maybe later.” Not “let me see.” Hell No.

The Ultimate Test: A Life-Altering Decision

Let’s make this concrete. Consider a universal, high-stakes scenario: buying a home.

From the moment you consider it, the universe conspires to fragment your attention:

· Distractions: Endless online listings, Zillow rabbit holes, market hype, your cousin’s friend’s “amazing” real estate podcast.
· Personalities: The optimistic agent, the cautious lender, the nitpicking inspector, the sentimental partner, the opinionated parents.
· Obstacles: Bidding wars, financing hiccups, daunting paperwork, terrifying inspections.
· Unknowns: What’s the neighborhood really like? What hidden cost will emerge? Is this the right time?

Any single one of these can derail you into anxiety, second-guessing, and costly mistakes. Now, apply the filter.

You walk into a house. It’s… fine. Good schools, nice kitchen, acceptable commute. It checks the boxes. But do you feel it? Is it a HELL YES? Does your gut sing, or does it just… hum? If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. Walk away.
You get a counter-offer with a tricky clause. Signing it would be easier. Is it a HELL YES on the terms? Or a reluctant concession? If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. Walk away.

This filter cuts through fear-of-missing-out (FOMO), analysis paralysis, and outside noise. It hands the microphone back to your deepest intuition. This isn’t just for home buying. It’s for:

· Taking a new job
· Starting a project
· Investing in a relationship
· Adding a commitment to your calendar
· Saying “yes” to a social invitation when you’re tired

In every case, the filter protects your attention’s integrity.

How to Become an Athlete of Your Attention

Becoming an attention athlete isn’t about deprivation; it’s about cultivation. It’s training your capacity for deep focus so you can wield it powerfully when you choose. The “Hell Yes/Hell No” filter is your core training regimen. Here’s how to build the rest of your practice:

1. Diagnose Your Attention Diet.
   What are you consuming? The news cycle, social media scrolls, complaint-filled conversations, and trivial tasks are the junk food of attention. They cause inflammation in your focus. Audit your inputs. Does this information source, conversation, or task fuel my clarity and purpose? Or does it just fill space? Be ruthless. Hell yes or hell no.
2. Schedule Your Deep Work Sprints.
   An athlete doesn’t train randomly. They have focused blocks for intensity. Protect 90-120 minute blocks in your calendar for uninterrupted, deep work on your HELL YES priorities. Guard these like you would a meeting with your most important client—because you are.
3. Build in Conscious Recovery.
   Attention needs rest. Schedule literal rest periods—walks without headphones, moments of true boredom, tech-free evenings. This is when your subconscious connects dots and creativity sparks. It’s not wasted time; it’s an essential part of the performance cycle.
4. Let Your Gut Be Your Coach.
   Your integrated intelligence—your gut—processes millions of data points your conscious mind misses. That sinking feeling? That spark of excitement? That’s your gut coaching you.
   The filter works because it leverages this. You’re not making a spreadsheet for every small decision; you’re asking your somatic intelligence: ”Does this feel like a HELL YES?”
   The feeling is the data. Trust it.

The Template for a Focused Life

So, what does this look like on a random Tuesday?

1. The Request Comes In: An email: “Can you join this new committee/jump on this call/help with this project?”
2. Pause. Breathe. Do not default to “Sure!” or “Let me check.”
3. Apply the Filter: Imagine yourself doing the thing. Does the thought generate authentic energy, alignment, and excitement? Or does it generate a sense of dread, heaviness, or “ugh, I guess”?
4. Decide & Communicate:
   · If HELL YES: Respond with full-throated enthusiasm and commit completely.
   · If HELL NO: Respond with a clear, kind, and non-negotiable “No, thank you. I can’t commit to that right now.” No lengthy apologies. No fabricated excuses. A clean no is a gift to everyone—it frees them to find their “hell yes” person.

The magic happens in the space created by all those “hell nos.” That space gets filled not with more mediocre tasks, but with the oxygen your HELL YES projects need to catch fire. You start writing the book. You launch the side hustle. You have the quality time with your kid. You train for the marathon.

You stop missing your life because you’re finally present for it.

The Invitation

The world is engineered to distract you, to make you reactive, to sell your attention to the highest bidder. Saying “Hell Yes or Hell No” is an act of rebellion. It’s a declaration that your life, your focus, and your energy are sovereign.

You don’t have to say yes to the good to say yes to the great. You don’t have to be busy to be productive. You just have to become the athlete of your one irreplaceable resource: your attention.

Start now. Look at your to-do list, your calendar for next week, that lingering decision you’ve been avoiding. Ask the question.

Is it a HELL YES?

If not, you know what it is.

Let it go. And watch as the path to what truly matters becomes breathtakingly clear.